Inside Conference room 0023.
It was a brightly lit white room covered with flags and maps, tables and coffee. There were beautiful paintings and expensive fur rugs upon the floor. The woodwork was that of which I expect royalty to have made, but then my boss is a big spender. I am Mason, Resource and safety inspector of Boxbury Nuclear Power Industries. It is definitely not what I imagined myself doing as a child, but the recent death of my father had brought an early job opportunity for me. I had not even been properly trained in this field, and in the past months I told the big guys in the white room that the global pollution from nuclear power plants would be going down, but they have only been rising. And so here I found myself in a room with some chubby guy who liked to yell about how I was a failure at life.
“Mason, do you really think we are going to give you more time as safety inspector? I thought you needed this money! I could have you removed from that position without more than even a moments notice. You told us that the nuclear radiation pollution would be going down. Instead it seems to me like the more we wait, the more we get!” Mr. Chub said with a glare in his eye.
“Yes, that is correct Mr. Chub…”
“It is pronounced Mr. Cub, Mason!” Mr. Chubby screamed, his temple enlarging. A pair of glasses sat under his big bushy eyebrows, and his poor choice of clothing suggested colorblindness. He sat in one of the largest chairs I had ever laid eyes upon, which still didn’t seem to be enough for his whale of a body. Rasping for air, he continued on.
“Do you realize how important it is to the entire human race that the nuclear radiation be lowered? If we don’t stop the pollution now, in twenty years, there won’t BE an earth.”
“I realize that sir, but in the past months there seems to be a massive radiation source leaking from the North Pole. The radiation has been rising steadily from 1% all the way to 5% since October. If it continues to go up like it has, the area will be desolate by Christmas.” I said, trying to emphasize that I had been working hard.
“Well, then I suppose you had better tell the manager at that plant to knock it out then!” Mr. Chub said, obviously not getting the point.
“Sir, There isn’t a plant in the north pole. In fact, nobody has lived in those parts for years.” I said, adding a point about how not many had been there in the first place under my breath.
“Well then I hope you will be taking the next plane out there to see what the problem is, won’t you? I want you to go alone Mason. And if I find out about the pollution of nuclear power plants rising even a billionth of a decimal, there will be hell to pay.” Porky said in an outrage, demanding obedience.
“Got it sir… plane, pollution, decimal, hell.” I said, with an eye in the sky bored look. “Oh yeah, and how could I forget… alone.”
Insomnia Café – Later that day
“So what do you say Jack? Want to go find an abominable snowman in the North Pole?” I said to my friend in between sips of my volcano pyro coffee. He made a wide smile and said “Aw, come on Mace, cant we something different for once?” sarcastically.
“No seriously,” I said, laughing. “There is a ton of radioactivity flowing from somewhere up there so we need to find and eliminate it.”
“Aw come on, Christmas is soon! Can’t this thing wait a little while?” He said, the humor gone from his eyes.
“We can be back in time for Christmas! Besides, it isn’t like you have any plans anyway.” I said, not wanting to go alone.
“Well yes actually, my sister and I were going to…” He paused for a moment and quickly said “When do we leave?”
I smiled “Great, well here’s the plan…”
Apartment 123 – Later that night
“... So do you understand it this time?” I said, sighing. “Come on; just help me get this junk into the truck so we can go already?”
“Do I understand?” he said, looking at me like I was insane. “So let me get this straight. You want me to come with you to some pinpoint location that you believe is doing all this radiation with nothing more armed with than an ice pick and help you seal the leak which you have no idea doing in the first place. You also have not the faintest idea what sort or chemical is doing this damage, and realize we could be killed instantly when we come in contact with said chemical. And all of this just so you can manage to keep your crappy apartment with a psychotic job that should be paying way more than minimum wage, but isn’t. Did I get it all right?”
I thought for a second, and then said. “Yep I think that just about covers it.”
“Count me in…”
Westwood Airfield – Even later that night
“Chester? Hey! You there?” I shouted, knocking on the door of the main office building.
“Who the hell is Chester?” Jack hadn’t stopped with the questions ever since I asked him to come.
“Dude, lighten up! What’s with you anyway this will be fun.”
“Yeah, I know! But every time you drag me into these adventures of yours, bad things end up happening. I just don’t have a good feeling about this one.”
“You never have a good feeling about…” the door opened and there stood Chester. He was a skinny guy, just beginning to gray in the hair, which was pulled back into a pony tail. His skin was tanned and his clothes were loose. Hopefully he would be the one to fly us to the North Pole.
“Mason! How have you been?” I smiled, shaking his hand and then said
“Good, how about you?”
“Good… Come on in, I’ll get you guys something to drink.” He turned and left into the one room cabin. There was a small TV in one corner with a folding chair opposite it. Up in the corner there was a surveillance camera that was turned off but probably did still function. There were empty pizza boxes and coffee cups lying in various places, which brought an unpleasant smell to the room. We followed him to the section that served as a kitchen, where he made up some coffee and served us.
“So, what exactly brings the two of you here today?” Chester said while cleaning the pot of coffee out.
“Well, you see…” I started, and told him of our plans to go to the North Pole and destroy the source of the pollution.
“So let me get this straight. You want me fly you to some pinpoint location up in the North Pole that you believe is doing all this “radiation” armed with nothing more than an ice pick to help you seal the leak which you have no idea doing in the first place. You don’t know if we will all just die the second we breathe the air, and yet you still want to do it?” He said, beginning to sound like Jack.
“Yep, that just about covers it.” Jack and I said in unison, laughing at each other.
The man paused for a second, looked around, and finally said “Sweet, when do you want to leave?”
Somewhere over The earth – The next morning
“Hey, Mace?” Jack had broken an age old silence that had been bouncing around the cabin.
“Yeah?” I said through a yawn, looking over at him.
“What if the radioactivity is coming from Santa’s workshop?” I started to laugh but then I saw his face was completely serious. “You know, it all makes sense. How else can those elves make so many toys so quickly?”
Suddenly there was a loud clang, a boom, and we could hear and see tons of little buzzers screeching like there was no tomorrow.
“Guys! Get parachutes on now. If I’m right, we’re going down right now! Quick now quickly evacuate I telling you.” We stared at the back of his head in dumb shocked silence until he turned from the insane controls and stared right back at us. He looked crazed and just as shocked as us. Finally after a second he full out screamed at us.
“I SAID GO!”
Suddenly somewhere on the earth – Still morning.
“Where did Chester land?” I asked Jack, who was staring at the explosion from the plane.
“Huh? Oh, that way somewhere.” He point off in the direction of a hill.
“Where? I don’t see him… Hey do you see my hat?” It was a hat with my high school mascot on the front. I hadn’t taken it off since graduation.
“No, and That’s because he’s on the other side… come on lets go” Jack started trudging in the direction he had pointed.
When we came up over the hill, we had more of a shock that we had realized. Over the hill was a small, brightly lit village. And in the center of it was a parachute. We slowly walked towards the village, not trusting a single shadow we walked past. When at last we had reached the parachute, we saw no sign of Chester.
“BOO!” Jack had tried to sneak up on me.
“Cut that out dude, let’s find Chester.” I said, not joining in on his immaturity for once.
There was a sound of giggling from behind me. It didn’t really sound like Jack.
“Come on lets…” I had turned just in time to see a small body jump around a corner. There was no sign of Jack.
“Jack? Jack come on this isn’t funny…” there was a noise to my left, I jumped.
“Jack? Chester!” Something hit my shoulder and I screamed. It was a snowball.
I turned around and there stood the largest mass of kids I had ever seen. A snowball hit me square in the face.
“Agh. Cut that out! Have you guys seen my friends?” While I was wiping the snow from my eyes, somebody grabbed me from behind and tied me up with surprising force. Then something hit me in the head, and I was out.
In some creepy village – Time Unknown
Light returned to my eyes and my vision blurred back into existence.
“Dude! I told you I was right. This is Santa’s village. Those children thing freaks are elves and they use the nuclear stuff to generate machines!” The first words I heard came from Jacks mouth.
“Oh jeez… Couldn’t they just have killed me?” I said sarcastically, looking away from him, right into the eyes of one of the kids.
“That could be arranged.” The kid said, waving a pistol right in my face.
“Woah! Kid! Put the gun down.” I shouted without thinking.
“Kid? I am four hundred and thirty two years old you slime.” The thing said, pulling off its hat and revealing pointed ears.
“The hell…?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. Maybe Jack was right after all.
“Don’t play dumb. What do you guys think, you can just land in here and ruin Christmas for eternity? I don’t think so.” The elf thing said, pacing around but still keeping the gun leveled on me.
“What? No! We just came here to stop the nuclear radiation around here.” I tried explaining for us.
“Precisely. Christmas cannot exist without nuclear power, human. Our reindeer only fly because of it. Rudolph’s nose wouldn’t glow the entire sky without it either. Hell, Santa’s life length itself is all thanks to nuclear power. You make us get rid of that, there won’t be a Christmas.” I laughed right in his face then. And Jack acted like he actually believed this stuff.
“Holy crap Mace, I can’t wait to tell my friends about this!”
“Hey! Did I mention that the radiation in the air is what made us into elves in the first place? You’re never going back home human.”
Same place, ten minutes later after several pointless boring conversations
“Draker! Who are these humans?” The voice of the jolly fat man himself, Santa said!
“These two men are trying to wreck Christmas by destroying our nuclear power source!” Draker said, while I thought about what a stupid name he had.
“We weren’t going to do that, he’s full of it. We just crash landed our plane in your village and they knocked us out.” Jack said, snapping out of his trance for a while.
“Well I’m sorry for the wasted trip you guys, but I assure you the nuclear radiation vanishes after Christmas is over. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid this part is necessary.”
With that a huge bag was draped over me and darkness commenced.
Back home in bed – 6:13 a.m.
“WAIT!” I screamed, jumping up and slamming my head on my bookshelf. Wait… my bookshelf? *BLEET BLEET BLEET BLEET* I was back home! I shut off my alarm and ran to the phone.
“Jack? Hey Jack you okay? Was that insane or what?” I said, excitement rising in my voice.
“What are you talking about Mace… Go back to bed dude it was probably just a dream.” Jack said before hanging up.
‘There is no way that that was a dream’ I thought as I ran to the calendar. It read December 25th. It was Christmas? Just as I was about to turn, I saw a small package wrapped in gold paper. Looking at it, I saw that the tag read Santa. I ripped open the package to find myself looking at my high school hat, the one I had lost in the journey.
*RINGGGGG* “Hello?” I said, picking up the receiver.
“Good morning Mason, Employee of the month! Excellent job however you destroyed the pollution… Don’t even tell me; let me know how you did it after your vacation!” *click*
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Author's Comments
Sorry for the crappy quality of this work. i havnt written in a little while, not to mention that im really sick right now. with that said, this was thought of by me, my sisters bf, and my sister. we have lots of random convo's but i figured this one could make a story.
MERRY CHRISTMAS Please tell me problems you see, i want to get better Comments
 so Santa's the biggest user of nuclear radiation.
...cool. original, i thought ut was very good. -- All hail the mighty whiteboard. lol. my sister asked
"why the hell is rudolphs nose red anyway" and her bf is like "yeah its like huge and round too" im just like "because of the nuclear radiation..." and they were like huh? lol yes so we went on and on and i said santa lives so long because of it and they use it to power the machines and so on and so forth ^_^ and i didnt even drink soda that day! -- Cast a blind eye towards the sun, You'll never be seen. wow. but its probably true you know.
-- All hail the mighty whiteboard.  lol I loved it!! Rock on. An interesting, and very original take on Santa's magic. Great job!
 -- I'm a pathological liar. Honest. lol thanks a lot hikari
 -- Cast a blind eye towards the sun, You'll never be seen. My pleasure!
-- I'm a pathological liar. Honest. |
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